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Sherdog.com's Guide to TUF 8

After Junie Allen Browning evened things up with a win last week, you’d think that Frank Mir would be glad to get his team back on the winning track. In eight seasons of “The Ultimate Fighter,” I don’t think there has been one instance of a coach ripping into one of his fighters after a win, but Mir was not happy.

“Let’s be realistic. You just went three rounds with Rolando. Rolando,” said Mir. “You showed some chinks in your armor, so the next guy’s not going to be afraid.”

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Browning agreed, knowing that he had just barely squeezed by. He had run out of gas quickly during the last two rounds of the fight, and his team chided him about his conditioning. After Mir ran through his “I expect more out of you” speech, he then launched into a “no fiascos” speech regarding Browning and his plans to have a postfight cocktail or nine.

Mir told Junie that he had all the skills inside the ring to win the whole shebang, but that outside of the ring, “You scare the s--- out of me.”

Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira has taken an approach similar to former TUF coaches Matt Serra and Tito Ortiz in that he has really bonded with his team. Nogueira’s team seemed to appreciate the fact that he used leapfrog and king-of-the-mat type drills to keep things in a light mood.

Meanwhile, Mir was trying to remove all the fun he could and get his guys focused on improving their conditioning. As such, Mir brutalized his workouts by adding the scuba-mask method made famous by Wanderlei Silva’s camp. The guys were put through a circuit of explosive exercises while, get this, wearing a scuba mask. What fun! As if working out for hours wasn’t enough, now this.

What next, jumping jacks with a plastic bag over your head? Maybe they’ll just throw a huge green necklace on our necks and toss us in the pool like they did Superman. I firmly believe that over the course of time, history will show that people who were executioners, torturers and war criminals all just turned in their weapons for stopwatches, whistles and medicine balls.

Mir talked with Vinicius Magalhaes after practice to get some pointers on Nogueira’s jiu-jitsu. Magalhaes is a three-time world champion, so he might be OK at evaluating someone’s skill level. It was Mir’s contention that Magalhaes has a better ground game than Nogueira. Magalhaes mentioned that he had rolled with Nogueira on day one, and Mir picked his brain. Afterward Mir thanked him for the insider knowledge.

“They’re going to kill me in Brazil,” joked Magalhaes.

After training, Nogueira stopped by the house for dinner. It was his birthday, and his team cooked him supper and a cake.

“I tried everything and I loved it,” Nogueira said.

Jules Bruchez talked about how happy it made their team to help alleviate some of Nogueira’s homesickness for Brazil. While the red team gave Nogueira some birthday swats, the black team seethed. Pretty much anytime the red team has a good time, there are haters.

“Team Nogueira sucks. They are too close too soon. They act like they’ve known each other for 20 years,” said Shane Nelson.

He and Magalhaes also shared some opinions and suggestions of rather alarming activities the red team might also enjoy together.

After dinner, Nogueira talked with Bruchez about what he needs to work on. Bruchez had been eager to get into the Octagon, and when the announcements were made, he got his wish. Team Mir matched him with Magalhaes.

“Make Vinny busy. Hit him all the time,” said Nogueira, respecting the ground game of Magalhaes and figuring that the key to victory for Bruchez is to, duh, keep it standing.

While Magalhaes worked on his boxing with Mir, his ears must have been burning because the red team couldn’t wait to tell Nogueira about Vinny running his mouth. According to Kyle Kingsbury and some of the other guys, Vinny and Junie were yapping about how Nogueira’s jiu-jitsu was in decline and that Magalhaes was the champ.

“He might be good in the gym, but when he steps in there,” said Nogueira, gesturing to the cage, “that’s why he wasn’t my first pick.”

Nogueira didn’t like the news of Magalhaes talking.

“You blew it with me, man,” Nogueira said while confronting Magalhaes.

To their credit, neither man raised his voice (is that how they settle it in Brazil?) and remained calm, but it was apparent that Nogueira wasn’t going to budge, saying, “We’re enemies now.”

So much scarier in Portuguese. Magalhaes tried to explain that Nogueira wasn’t hearing the whole truth, and I’m inclined to believe him. We never saw the conversation that Kingsbury was talking about, but during the previous conversation that Vinny had with Mir, he wasn’t boastful at all. Mir even tried to steer Magalhaes into a direction of admitting that his ground game was better than Nogueira’s. Vinny even corrected Mir by saying, “Not better, just different.” In short, Nogueira is more “bread and butter” while Magalhaes might have a more technical approach.

No matter how he meant it, Nogueira wouldn’t budge and Magalhaes left the training facility with the always-warm feeling of knowing that the UFC heavyweight champ wouldn’t mind busting your grape. Magalhaes wasn’t too torn up, though: “I don’t care. If he doesn’t want to talk to me, I don’t care.”

Come fight time, Mir psyched up Magalhaes with a question: “If you two were at a bar, could he beat your ass?”

No was the reply, and Mir accentuated his point by raising his arms and making that crazy face comedian Lewis Black makes when he thinks the answer is too stupid or obvious. Bruchez and company were hoping to showcase more skill than his first fight.

“I didn’t even throw a punch!” screamed Bruchez after breezing past his first TUF opponent.

For Bruchez, however, all the prefight planning and talk was exactly that -- just talk. His eyes were bigger than an anime hero, and he stood nearly frozen as Magalhaes chopped at his midsection with kicks. Bruchez kept his hands low, raising them during exchanges, which left his ribs open and Magalhaes went at them like bat to ball.

Magalhaes had threatened to win the fight by flying armbar, and he made sort of a halfhearted attempt at one that caused Bruchez to fall toward the fence. Magalhaes then quickly swept him from a closed guard and inched his way up. Vinny grabbed his ankle, and for a second he looked as if he was going to try for a gogoplata from mount. Instead he just trapped the arm and dropped back, settling for a simple armbar with fancy footwork.

It looks like we’ll get two fights next week as the remaining four lightweights will get their chance to advance. Now go make peace with your enemies.
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